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The Toss: Michael's New BaristaBot

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R • "Michael"/coffee, mention of Tom/Michael

Tom tugged at his collar. Definitely uncomfortable. In the way that would make it painful or at least embarrassing for him to stand up and come out from behind his own desk for a while.

Tom's wife, who he had reason to believe was a significant source of Tom/Michael fanfic, was going to explode when this aired.

Three hundred years from now, fake news is alive and well and still playing gay chicken.


"Before we go, we're going to check in with our good friend Michael Laurent at the Laurent Assignment--Michael, what've you got for us toni--"

"Mmn." Michael held up one finger--that, apparently, was all the attention he could divert from the gigantic BaristaBot cup he was clasping in his hands, and what he was doing could only be described as making out with the fucking cup. Tom was sure he saw tongue. "Mmm. Mmf."

"Michael, am I, uh--" Tom cleared his throat. "Am I, uh, interrupting something here?"

"Mmf. Mmf. Mmmhmm. Mmmmf."

Okay. This... this was just wrong. And also hot. But mostly wrong. But hot.

This wasn't the first time Michael pulled something like this, and Tom would be lying if he denied ever instigating it himself. Of course this was a common occupational hazard that went along with their mutual decision to improvise the tosses, but Michael usually at least warned Tom if he was going to do something crazy like--well, like making out with a fucking BaristaBot cup, holy shit.

Tom was glad their audiences were amused, because he was getting a little uncomfortable. Especially now that Michael had let go of the cup with one hand and instead was white-knuckling the edge of his desk. Especially now that the noises Michael was making into that cup could no longer be written off as simple "man, that must really be good coffee" noises and had crossed solidly over into "that guy is totally getting head under his desk" territory.

Tom tugged at his collar. Definitely uncomfortable. In the way that would make it painful or at least embarrassing for him to stand up and come out from behind his own desk for a while.

Tom's wife, who he had reason to believe was a significant source of Tom/Michael fanfic, was going to explode when this aired.

Entertainer-class gen-mod or not, Michael wasn't any more capable of completely faking an orgasm than a normal guy. This did not make the parts of an orgasm that would have been audible and visible above Michael's desk any less convincing. Even Tom, who (just between you and him and these four walls) had given Michael enough real orgasms to know what it looked like, wasn't entirely sure Michael was acting.

Tom barely heard the shrieks and whoops and catcalls and applause from his audience as Michael slurped what must have been the last few drops out of that cup, gently set it down, and then just sort of melted onto his desk. "Um--" Tom cleared his throat again. "So you, uh--you got that BaristaBot installed in your studio today, is that what you're trying to tell me?"

Michael popped upright and grinned as if the last thirty seconds had never happened. "In the studio? Oh no, Tom, I had them put it right here on the set, in fact--Zellyx, bring that camera over here, would you, right here under my desk--"

And that, that right there, that was a visual that Tom did not need, and it was a really good thing he hadn't chosen that moment to take a drink of water because it would have been all over his audience and Camera 2.

The general consensus among the fans was that the best tosses were the ones where Tom and Michael cracked each other right the fuck up. Which meant this one was probably headed straight for top-viewed-clip immortality on the net feed. Especially if the live audience's reaction was any indication.

When Tom could breathe again, he glanced up at the screen and there was Michael, with that shit-eating grin plastered across his face. And their audiences probably didn't catch it, but Tom did--just for a split second, that wasn't "Michael" grinning at him, that was the real Michael.

Gotcha, he was saying.

"I--" Tom coughed softly as their respective audiences settled down. "I don't want to see what just happened under your desk." Which just set the audience off again.

Michael just grinned even more broadly at that, orange eyes twinkling behind his glasses--gotcha with a side order of dare you to come do something about it. "You don't know what you're missing, Tom."

Tom almost said something highly inappropriate there.

"We'll see you later, Michael," is what he actually said. With a look that he hoped Michael would interpret as I am totally going to ambush you in your dressing room after your show.

Last Updated on Sunday, 25 January 2009 18:35  

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