Archive for January, 2006
STOP DYING PLZ.
I forgot to mention the other day that I finally got around to reading the two Silent Hill comics I hadn’t yet read, those being Among The Damned and Paint It Black.
The art in these is not bad. They’ve both got the same artist, though I can’t remember who right off the top of my head. Among The Damned actually had a fairly decent story, although it suffered from the standard novel-length-story-crammed-into-40someodd-page-comic syndrome that seems to go along with these comics. Also from some bits of really bad dialogue. But it was actually something I’d reread. not spectacular, but far from bad.
Paint It Black, on the other hand…
I pray to all that’s holy that this was meant to be a parody. It’s that bad.
There is this Silent Hill forum I play on. I enjoy it. It’s mostly wankfree and populated by people who can carry on an intelligent conversation.
One of them has started flailing her arms around and baying for Konami’s heads over a rumor that SH5 will only be released on the Nintendo Revolution, and attempting to squash all dissent with big misspelled words and “rar hate Konami X( X( X(“.
First of all: has anyone, outside of this “Silent Hill Media” forum she claims got the exclusive scoop on this, heard anydamnthing about this? Because I sure haven’t. You’d think it’d be all over the Internet. Big-name series, big-name developer, exclusive single-console release? Oh yeah, that shit would be spreading like ebola. I haven’t seen a peep about it elsewhere. I’m waiting for her to quote me a reliable news source, because a single post on a single fan-run forum that you can’t even see without registering reeks strongly of bullshit to me.
Second: There hasn’t been an exclusive single-console release of a Silent Hill game since SH1–not even then, if you’re generous and count the Play Novel as a GBA port. Why would Konami fuck with that now? They’ve been around forever. Obviously they’re smart enough to know this would be a bad thing to do. Yes, I think they’re smart. Yes, even after playing Suikoden IV. Hey, we all make mistakes.
Third: Assuming this shit is true… Konami chose the CHEAPEST next-gen console to release it on. This is a problem… why? Look, I don’t care if pressing X five times makes a hot meal pop out the front of the console, I don’t care if pressing the circle button ten times summons a squadron of flying clitlicker machines to my front door, I am not paying $400+ for a PS3. Fuck that.
Or I could, y’know, buy the PC version. Problem solved, CONGRATURATION THIS STORY IS HAPPY END.
I think what I’m trying to say is “settle down, Beavis.” Nothing is official yet. Nothing is final yet. Get a grip.
Imagine you are eight years old, undead and pure evil. Your plans to gain ultimate power in the mist-enshrouded haunted town of Silent Hill have left you defeated, a prisoner. Suddenly you are free. But this is what hell really is… because now you are alive and vulnerable – and you have competition. May the deadliest win.
My first thought is: Dying Inside sequel.
Guys? I know this is an exercise in futility, but do you think you could please for the love of all that’s holy not suck this time? You guys make the baby Alessa cry with your bad comics. Thanks.
There is apparently talk of a Konami-backed Metal Gear Solid movie… and guess who says he wants to direct it?
UWE FUCKING BOLL, THAT’S WHO.
That teakettle-like noise you may have heard about five minutes ago was me, screaming in abject terror until I had no air left.
However, seeing as how Konami got people who seem to know their shit to do the Silent Hill movie, I’m …fairly sure they won’t fuck it up by letting this dweeb direct it.
Oh God I hope not.