Posts tagged with 'werk'

Dear Epilog:

  • Posted on December 17, 2009 at 12:27 pm

The cleaning procedures outlined in the manual for our laser engraver, which you have manufactured, tell us that one should not need to clean the actual laser eye itself since it is tucked away off to the side and presumably shielded from smoke and crud in some way. [ETA: it has been some time since I thoroughly read said instructions and I managed to misremember the hell out of this particular admonition]

So as said laser engraver began a gradual process of what appeared to be losing power over the past few months, attempting to clean said eye itself was furthest from my mind.

Today, finally fed up with the machine’s bullshit when a plastic name badge looked like crap when engraved at 100% power and 30% speed (the normal setting for this plastic is more like 80% power and speed, the setting I actually used is normally reserved for deeply engraving shit into solid wood) , I soaked a Q-tip in alcohol, bent it to reach the presumably shielded laser eye, scrubbed gently, and withdrew a black Q-tip. I repeated this process until the Q-tips I withdrew were no longer black.

As far as I know, this has never once been done in the 5+ years since this shop acquired this machine. Why has it never been done? Because supposedly, it did not need to be done. We knew this to be true because the owner’s manual had telled us so. Amazingly, the removal of 5+ years worth of guk on the laser eye fixed my problem immediately.

If this instruction manual had pants, they would be on fire [ETA: A friendly guy from Epilog has cruised by and cleared some things up. That was not the actual lazer eye, but a wee mirror (in my defense, the manual–which I’ve, uh, obviously not read in a while–does say it shouldn’t need regular cleaning, which is probably why I was thinking what I was thinking). Anyway: lrn2RTFMbetter, self.]

Dear, dear customer:

  • Posted on August 19, 2009 at 6:11 pm

No, we cannot color-match and custom dye ribbons for you. Well, I’m sorry the two shades of purple our ribbon suppliers offer don’t perfectly match the fabric swatch you brought in. Yes, I’m aware that Home Depot can match paint to your swatches. We are not Home Depot and ribbons are not paint. No, needing them tomorrow will not change the fact that we cannot color-match them and in fact makes things even more impossible, because custom ribbon orders take ten business days. Yes, they might be able to get them to you faster IF they aren’t backed up with orders from people who didn’t wait until the last minute AND you pay their exorbitant rush charge. No, they will still almost certainly not arrive tomorrow. No, they will still not color-match and custom dye them if you pay a rush charge, what part of “they don’t do that” are you not getting!?

Yes, please do feel free to leave in a huff and tell me you’re going to the other award shops in the area, all of whom use the same ribbon suppliers we do and all of whom will probably be closed for the day by the time you get there.

(actually, rude customers are so rare at this shop that I kind of enjoy it when they do show up)

In other news, and because I understand this shit is BORING AS ALL HELL to some folks but I still enjoy babbling about it, I made another blog to chronicle all my ass-movin’ adventures. If you are interested in all my nerdery related to running and cycling and other such activities, you can keep up with it over there. If you don’t give a shit, you don’t have to see it here. Everybody wins!

(oh um also guys it is time for the periodic plug of my Race for the Cure pledge page–say that three times real fast–your chump change would be greatly appreciated)