Posts tagged with 'vegaboo'

Oh lawd.

  • Posted on November 18, 2008 at 10:37 am

Well, I played Mama Kills Animals, and I have two things to say about it:

1. It makes me want to go buy the real Cooking Mama, and

2. If you are putting feathers in your giblet gravy, you are DOING IT WRONG.

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Ahahahah what.

  • Posted on October 10, 2007 at 4:36 pm

Just for a moment, let’s completely remove this guy’s personal beliefs about what we should or should not eat from the equation and focus on everything else you see here.

Would you want this guy to teach your kids’ art class? Yeucch. Worst photocollages EVAR.

And sir, you were not fired for being vegan. You were fired for not doing your job, which is to teach ART.

What the HELL.

  • Posted on September 3, 2007 at 11:55 am

Apparently these days there are people for whom straight-up veganism is just too mainstream.


Wait till you get to the part about not throwing moldy food away so you don’t hurt the mold. I wish I was making that up.

Because of course it’s more important to be skinny than healthy.

  • Posted on August 9, 2007 at 11:05 am

I’m almost tempted to buy this “Skinny Bitch” book just so I can rake it over the coals with a lot more information in my editorial ammo can, but I think it’d be a complete waste of $8. Unless I use the pages as starter for the charcoal and wood I’ll be grilling perfectly good and healthy salmon over, anyway. Which isn’t allowed on the even-dumber-than-Atkins militant vegan diet the book pushes.

The title is accurate in that it reflects the fact that the authors are a) skinny and b) bitches. You’re not going to gain a lot of respect from potential readers by calling them “fat cows” and “morons.” Nor are you going to gain a lot of credibility points by lumping all skinny people into the “healthy” category and all fat people into the “unhealthy” category. I’m about 95% sure I could outride both of these ambulatory twigs in the MS150, and 100% sure I could take them both in a fair fight.

It should also be noted that neither of these skinny bitches–I figure they won’t mind me calling them that–is a doctor. Or a nutritionist. Or in any other way remotely qualified to tell other people what, when, or how to eat. According to the back cover, one of them is a “self taught know-it-all,” and the other is a former model (and, as we all know, models are renowned for their healthy diets :whatev: ) with a degree in “holistic nutrition,” which is just a euphemism for “5% useful information, 95% new age bullshit.” Furthermore, I seriously doubt either of these bitches has ever been anything remotely resembling “fat” in her whole life. Which would explain why they seem to think it’s cute to call their target audience “fat slobs.” Hey, it got loads of laughs from their friends in high school so it must work out in the real world, right?

In a nutshell, they’re pushing a vegan diet. All y’all know how I feel about that shit, no sense rehashing it here, have the tl;dr version: those front-facing eyes, canine teeth, and milk-producing thingies we evolved with? THEY’RE NOT FOR DECORATION, PEOPLE.

Anyway. Here’s a sample of the stupidity one will find therein:

Acidic foods cause your body to create fat cells, in order to keep the acid away from your organs.

But wait, they go on to say, this doesn’t apply to citrus fruit, never mind the fact that it’s about the most goddamn acidic thing you can put into your mouth.


I don’t get it either. Maybe it’s just because I’m too fat and therefore stupid to understand what these intelligent skinny people are saying.

Or maybe I did pass my grade school health class and know that eating more calories than your body burns is what causes your body to create fat cells.

What’s wrong? Is that too difficult a concept for you smart skinny bitches to understand? Here, I’ll use smaller words just for you:

Fuck your fad diet and fuck you.

And yeah, I know, retarded shit like this book is just a symptom of a bigger problem, of a culture that emphasizes “being skinny” far above “being healthy.” But damn, it’s such a huge target I can’t help but take a few shots at it. It’s like they’re walking around with huge pink neon signs that say “DUMBASS” hovering over their heads.

Where the hell is the “Fat Bitches Losing Some Ass The Right Way” book? Am I going to have to write that shit myself?