Posts tagged with 'them'

I can has brains?

  • Posted on June 13, 2008 at 11:45 pm

Yeah, I was going to do the whole zombie thing today–actually, I was going to have Kenny do the whole zombie thing today and then two or three posts in end it with a still-somewhat-polite-but-with-heavily-implied-”bitches, please“  post. I was too busy, woe.

If I ever manage to finish this cross stitch project from this magazine, I am never doing anything on 28-count fabric again ever. AUGH GOD MY EYES. It is going a little faster now that I kind of know what the hell I’m doing, at least.

I have some new roommates! Tiny, six-legged, biting roommates! Yes, I have ants in my bedroom. They’re not the crazy rasberry ants–just plain old regular red ants. I saw and squished one on the bed Wednesday morning. …then I saw and squished another one on the bed five minutes later. I checked to make sure there wasn’t a conga line heading up to the bed, and there wasn’t–just random ants on the bed.

Okay, fine. I go to work. I come home. I go into the bedroom to change my clothes. There is an ant on the bed. I kill it. There are two more ants on the bed. I kill them. I look down. There is an ant on my foot. I kill it. And that seems to be all of them. I bend over and examine the carpet. I see no conga line. I look along all the baseboards and windows. I see no conga line. I chalk it up to random ants and leave it at that. I decide if I see any more ants I will pull furniture around, clear the closet, whatever it takes to track down the source but until then the ants and I can coexist for a while, maybe they will even eat some bugs I like even less.

Yesterday morning I get up. I go into the bathroom to shower. There is an ant bite on my hip.

AW HELL NAW. IT IS ON.

On the way home from dinner with Stepmom, I stop at the store and purchase tasty treats for my new six-legged friends. These tasty treats contain “two foods ants eat,” according to the box and whatever those two unspecified foods are, they are seasoned with POISON.

I gave one a sniff. It smelled kind of peanut butter-y. This could be a problem. I held one up for the potential problem (read: Spazz) to inspect. He sniffed it briefly, made an “eww” face, and walked away. Okay, good, I don’t have to worry about my chocolate-eating cat going “OH BOY YUMMY CANDY OM NOM NOM hey does this candy taste funny to y-*urk*” I mean, these things do kind of smell like an off-brand Reese’s cup.

So then I guess I kind of flipped out a little at that point. I started cruising around the bedroom, one tasty ant treat in each hand, going “♫ whooooo wants poisooooon? taaaaaaaasty poisoooon for my little friends! ♫” as I looked for places to stash the things. Because I had no idea where the ants were coming in, I just stuck one in the corner under the bed and the other next to the laundry basket, which seems to be the general area where the ants hang out until transferred to my bed and/or person.

I’m not sure if the ants have found the tasty treats yet. I squished two while I was farting around with my cross stitch. Maybe I should put the other two poison ant treats in the pack somewhere. FOUR CONVENIENT LOCATIONS TO SERVE YOU, YOU LITTLE BASTAGES. GTFO MY BEDROOM.

If the poison ant treats don’t work, I may have to send the cats on vacation to Mom’s and set off a bug bomb.

  • Comments are off for I can has brains?
  • Filed under

Top