Posts tagged with 'Funny'

*DEAD*

  • Posted on August 19, 2011 at 11:01 pm

Samuel L. Jackson reading “Go the Fuck to Sleep” may be the funniest thing I have ever heard. Ever.

Your daily spot of cheer

  • Posted on March 30, 2009 at 3:20 pm

Aunt Boss just came back here to tell me some breaking family news that left me weeping with laughter.

If you’re having a rough day, pause and reflect on how great it is that you are not my second cousin, who just managed to flush his own car keys down the toilet.

wooooooooo

  • Posted on January 16, 2009 at 2:03 pm

January 16, 2009
I, George W. Bush, President of these United States of the Americas, pursuant to that pardon power thingy conferred upon me by Article II, Section 2, of that Constitution I keep hearing people go on about, have granted and by these presents do grant a full, free, and absolute pardon unto Chaobell — or as I like to call her, Tuna Poot — for the crime of bootlegging.

The aforementioned — not to mention the beforementioned — shall not be subject to any punishment for this crime, including imprisonment in a low security prison, burning at the stake or waterboarding. Well, maybe a little bit of waterboarding, but just for fun, ya know? Heh heh.

Being The Decider in Chief, I have hereby used my Decidering powers to declare that Chaobell is a faithful devotee of liberal, amoral atheism and is, as such, a technically decent but godless citizen of this great nation. To punish this person would almost certainly become a regular talking point on liberal blogs.

In witness whereof, I have hereunto set my hand today, on January 16, in the year of our Lord 2009 — which I totally cannot believe is actually here, and I still haven’t gotten my hovercraft — and of the Independence of the United States of America.

God bless,
George W. Bush

Get your own Presidential pardon here!

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Running commentary on the Plan 59 archives

  • Posted on November 11, 2008 at 1:32 pm

RIDDIKULUS, part 2

  • Posted on October 21, 2008 at 9:45 pm

Oh dear. (via underfiend@lj)

hee hee

  • Posted on July 19, 2008 at 10:46 am

Amusing thing found in the stats for 100 Candles this morning:

no shit, sherlock

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I SAW IT

  • Posted on July 16, 2008 at 11:17 pm

IT’S ALIVE

IT’S CUTE

man, if he does that “Near… *runrunrunrunrunrunrunrun* Far!” thing, there will be no survivors in his path

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Amusing search request of the day

  • Posted on April 28, 2008 at 9:45 am

“wemom having sex with wemon to watch on my computer”

Bonus points: two log entries down was a search for this:

Haven’t played any Portal yet, but it’s sure as hell not for lack of trying. Call me old-fashioned, but when I go to a store and pay for a game in a box, I kind of expect to be able to put the disc in my drive, install some crap, maybe let it phone home with an activation key, and PLAY THE DAMN THING. Instead, I spent most of last night waiting for updates to the Steam client (which I’m not sure why I even need, this is a single-player game, but you can’t bypass the damn thing) to download. And now it wants to download updates for the game itself before it’ll even let me play. Yes, the system requirements list “Internet connection” (note the distinct lack of the word “broadband” there) which I stupidly assumed was just for that aforementioned “phone home with activation key” thing, not three hours of downloading mandatory updates for shit I don’t even need.

And for the Nth time, people: no, broadband is not an option at my apartment. DSL is almost cheap enough now that I might consider it but it’s still not available where I live, I just checked five minutes ago. Cable is too expensive. U-Verse might be available but you can’t get Internet access by itself, and I don’t want to pay $50+ a month for 500 channels of shit I won’t watch on TV. And no, I am not going to move just to get real Internet.

Huh, maybe this is part of the game? Because from what I hear, this is exactly the sort of thing GLaDOS would do to torture me.

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