Posts tagged with 'douche canoe'


  • Posted on April 1, 2011 at 4:49 pm

So being newly addicted to Zumba I was bopping around Amazon looking at the various DVDs and… well, take a look at this cap (click to embiggen) and guess where I went like this.

Go on, guess. And yes, I clicked  “no” with relish when asked if I found that review helpful, and also reported the shit out of it.

protip: saying “I’m not a racist but I hate them illegalz and I boycott Mexican restaurants and I’m glad there are white people in a workout video” is a lot like saying “I’m not a duck but I have a bill and feathers and webbed feet and I swim and I live in a park and eat bread crumbs.”

Things that make you go FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUU

  • Posted on May 13, 2009 at 12:50 pm

KBR: SUPPORT TEH TROOPZ (unless they actually need something you’re supposed to be providing, then fuck ’em)

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  • Posted on April 9, 2009 at 9:59 am

Texas lawmaker suggests Asian-Americans change their names to something “easier for Americans to deal with.” BUT IT’S TOTES NOT ABOUT RACE OMG.

Bitch, shut the fuck up and get your racist ass the fuck out of my state.


  • Posted on March 17, 2009 at 9:09 pm

“There is no reason an adult should have this game,” says Andy Anderson, Mid-Missouri Internet Crimes Task Force.

Anderson says adults playing “animal crossing” and similar games are likely doing it for the wrong reasons.

I have nothing to add except fuck you very much, sirs.

[ETA: Oh hey, I have an address if anyone would like to explain a few simple facts to these idiots:]

[ETA2: Also, here’s where you can complain directly to the “reporter” responsible for this pile of alarmist crap, and here’s where you can complain to Det. “Durr Hurr Gamerz R Pedoz” Anderson’s department!]

[Son Of ETA:

courtesy of silversolitaire@lj

between this and paulnolan@lj’s Pedotom, I can’t stop laughing now]

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  • Posted on February 4, 2009 at 10:17 pm

So, guys!

Anyone here on Facebook? Any of you play Hammerfall?

You should probably be aware that it contains a whole hell of a lot of stolen artwork.

The creator claims all the artwork in question is either under a CC license, or he asked permission to use it.

Yeah, except, uh… not.

So now that he knows people are onto him, he’s locked down the Photobucket account where people have found the pilfered artwork to make it harder for people to find pilfered artwork, and now he’s changing filenames around to evade complaints.

So if you are a fantasy-type artist on dA, you might want to check the list and make sure he’s not stealing your shit.


  • Posted on February 3, 2009 at 1:22 pm

You know those squealing yaoi fangirls who wiggle and pee all over themselves when they read a fic or see some art with two willowy hairless girly boys holding hands, but curl up in a little dry-heaving ball and go EWW EWW EWW GROSS GROSS GROSS when they encounter real gay people?

This is their final boss form.

Who’s surprised? Yeah, me neither

  • Posted on December 20, 2008 at 12:31 pm

Prop. 8 supporters, before the election: Oh no, we’re not going to mess with existing marriages, they can stay married, it’s cool.

After the election: Ahahahah no j/k, screw you, we’re going to scream and cry like two-year-olds until all your marriages get annulled.

“Stay Classy” doesn’t even begin to cover this.

  • Posted on November 11, 2008 at 2:38 pm

Seriously, I’m pretty sure if you look up “douchenozzle” in the dictionary, you will see a picture of Sen. Saxby Chambliss (R-GA).

As someone who once served in the military that this distinguished gentleman seems to have made it his life’s mission to fuck over, please understand my inability to articulate just how much his cowardice and outright unabashed contempt for men and women in uniform pisses me off.

Mr. Chambliss, on behalf of myself and every man and woman who has ever served in this country’s armed forces, fuck your knee and fuck you.


(okay, I swear I’m putting the Internet down and going back to work now)

Fail just doesn’t get much more epic than this.

  • Posted on November 7, 2008 at 4:37 pm

“Gay marriage doesn’t produce anything that the state has an interest in. Gay sex produces AIDS.”

I wish I could say I can’t believe there are actually people who believe shit like this. The sad thing is, I can.

That’s a new one

  • Posted on October 2, 2008 at 12:20 pm

I just had a telemarketer who claimed to be “verifying our listing” with the “yellow pages” get mad and hang up on me.

After I grunted “yes” to all of her questions and then told me she was about to transfer me to another department that would make me grunt “yes” to the same questions, I asked her why she needed me to stay on the line to verify the information she’d just asked me yet again. I told her she really didn’t need me to verify, again, information she already had and I had other things I needed to be doing.

She got all butthurt, accused me of wasting her time, and hung up on me.