Posts tagged with 'bawww'


  • Posted on March 7, 2011 at 12:53 pm

Dear dude on TF2 that kept going on and on and on and on last night about how you have no respect for Backburner* Pyros or W+M1** Pyros or flare gun*** Pyros:

1. If a Pyro has a Backburner, don’t let her get behind you. This means you may have to take some responsibility for watching your own fucking six.

2. If a Pyro is W+M1’ing at you and you are faster, run away. If you are slower,  jump around as much as possible and spam rockets/grenades/boolets at her and find a health pack/find a dispenser/find some water/scream for a Medic. If you are another Pyro, I am guessing based on your whining about Backburner Pyros that you have the standard flamethrower. Airblast and run.

3. …you’re seriously complaining that a projectile that moves fairly slowly, will probably not kill you outright, and leaves a visible trail is overpowered. Really. Really.

4. This all happened on one of those servers where the map objective tended to be ignored in favor of KILLING ALL THE THINGS for lulz.

*the Backburner is an unlockable replacement for the standard flamethrower. It does more damage on a normal hit, and if you hit someone from behind it critical-hits.

**W+M1 = hold W (forward) and the primary mouse button (fire), which is what noob Pyros tend to do a lot. It is hard to resist the temptation to do this, because in the right environment and with a slow enough enemy it actually works.

***The flare gun is exactly what it sounds like. It probably won’t kill your target if they’re at full health, but it might make them stop what they’re doing and retreat and yell for a Medic or run for health or jump in the water.

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Cry moar, Tom.

  • Posted on January 10, 2011 at 7:30 pm

Judge Pat Priest sentenced DeLay to three years on the conspiracy charge and five years on the money-laundering charge. But the judge will allow DeLay to serve 10 years probation with community service on the laundering charge in lieu of the prison sentence, and the two sentences will be served concurrently.

And DeLay and his attorney are still going BAWWWWWW THIS IS SO NOT FAIR and breaking their Tinkertoys over that slap on the wrist.

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The very definition of butthurt

  • Posted on April 15, 2010 at 9:25 am

World Nut Net Daily is suing the White House Correspondents’ Association for $10millionbux. For what, you ask? Why, because they only got two seats to the WHCA Dinner!

He’s treated like a pariah in the association. He’s treated like a pariah by his colleagues at every briefing. Half the time he’s standing there with his hand up, and the guy from the AP will just close down the briefing. He’s treated with disrespect by journalists.

Well, Mr. Kinsolving, maybe you’d be treated with a little more respect if the publication you worked for wasn’t a right-wing bizarro version of the Weekly World News. Siddownnshuddup.

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FLAMES on the sides of my fucking FACE.

  • Posted on August 8, 2009 at 3:18 am

Some asshole in an Escalade kills two cyclists, and his equally assholish father boohoos until Goodhair vetos a bill that would have required motorists to give cyclists, runners, pedestrians, construction workers, and so on three lousy feet of clearance.

Given that this is the Houston Chronicle, you can probably guess what kind of ignorant entitlement bullshit is in the comments.

Oh no you did NOT

  • Posted on September 10, 2008 at 9:46 am

A group of people who want to bring back the days when women stayed home and had babies and, if not married, were afraid to have sex ever have not one goddamned iota of business crying “OMG SEXIST” when someone says something is like “putting lipstick on a pig.”

No, you great bloody hypocrites. No. Absolutely fucking well no. That is not okay. You do not get to do that. You do not get to treat women the way you have and then go BAWWW over “lipstick on a pig.” HE DIDN’T EVEN CALL PALIN THE DAMN PIG, DID YOU FUCKERS EVEN LISTEN TO THE SPEECH OR DID YOU JUST PICK AND CHOOSE THE BITS THAT–wait, these are Republicans we’re talking about. They don’t see anything wrong with picking and choosing bits of the Bible that back up their stupid shit and ignoring the rest, why wouldn’t they do the same to their opponent’s speeches? Silly question.

Dear Ike: I would like to make you a business proposition. I will sacrifice one young goat of your choosing if you will leave us alone here and follow the McCain campaign around for a few months. No fatalities, no major property damage, just keep it down to a mild tropical storm and rain on his speeches and blow stuff around and annoy the hell out of him. That’d be awesome. Please e-mail if this is acceptable to you. Or wrap a note around a tree branch and blow it onto my patio if e-mail isn’t good for you.

It’s about that time again, isn’t it

  • Posted on July 28, 2008 at 1:13 pm

Yes, Houston area motorists, it is time for your periodic reminder that a) there are people on the road who do not have engines and b) the law gives them every bit as much right to be there as you.

Cut because, uh, this is going to get kind of long and bitchy.

It’s about that time again, isn’t it- continue reading

Oh, I was wondering what to have for dinner tonight!

  • Posted on July 9, 2008 at 4:00 pm


The AFA has officially become its own parody, if some of the comments from its butthurt members are any indication. Really, you guys, that’s just silly.


  • Posted on July 8, 2008 at 11:06 am

Star Trek: The Experience is closing on September 1.

DAMMIT. This year we didn’t get a chance to go visit, and last year before we didn’t eat there. I was hoping to go eat at Quark’s next time.

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Amusing search request of the day

  • Posted on April 28, 2008 at 9:45 am

“wemom having sex with wemon to watch on my computer”

Bonus points: two log entries down was a search for this:

Haven’t played any Portal yet, but it’s sure as hell not for lack of trying. Call me old-fashioned, but when I go to a store and pay for a game in a box, I kind of expect to be able to put the disc in my drive, install some crap, maybe let it phone home with an activation key, and PLAY THE DAMN THING. Instead, I spent most of last night waiting for updates to the Steam client (which I’m not sure why I even need, this is a single-player game, but you can’t bypass the damn thing) to download. And now it wants to download updates for the game itself before it’ll even let me play. Yes, the system requirements list “Internet connection” (note the distinct lack of the word “broadband” there) which I stupidly assumed was just for that aforementioned “phone home with activation key” thing, not three hours of downloading mandatory updates for shit I don’t even need.

And for the Nth time, people: no, broadband is not an option at my apartment. DSL is almost cheap enough now that I might consider it but it’s still not available where I live, I just checked five minutes ago. Cable is too expensive. U-Verse might be available but you can’t get Internet access by itself, and I don’t want to pay $50+ a month for 500 channels of shit I won’t watch on TV. And no, I am not going to move just to get real Internet.

Huh, maybe this is part of the game? Because from what I hear, this is exactly the sort of thing GLaDOS would do to torture me.

If you look up “butthurt” in the dictionary…

  • Posted on April 9, 2008 at 5:20 pm

I would pay good money to see Stanley Kubrick rise from his grave and kick Uwe’s ass. But since Uwe has no brain to consume, I can see how it really wouldn’t be worth Zombie Kubrick’s time and trouble.

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