Cave Johnson here! You are now reading this in my voice.

  • 14 May 2012

That’s because it’s printed on special paper the lab boys cooked up that makes you read whatever’s printed on it in my voice. It’s working like a charm for me but hell, I read everything in my voice anyway. So if you’re reading this in Elmer Fudd’s voice or something, you might want to flag down a test associate and let ‘em know because that’s not supposed to happen.

Oh and just a heads-up—the lab boys just told me the special paper that makes you read everything in my voice might have a few side effects. So if you’re reading something printed on it and you experience a sudden awareness of your tongue taking up space in your mouth or you realize you haven’t blinked or swallowed in a while, whatever you do, DO NOT YAWN. We don’t know what’ll happen, but it probably won’t be a weekend in the Bahamas with a drink that has a little paper umbrella in it if you know what I mean.

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