April 2009 Archives
You know, that does explain a whoooole lot about this town
So I’ve been playing around with Animal Crossing, paying off my latest mortgage and hanging out with my animal neighbors and the occasional visitor (big ups to my fruit pusher Shax who just came through with cherries, as soon as they sprout I will have a completely enfruited town \o/) and fishing and catching bugs and digging up fossils and noisy things and so on.
Well, it turns out there may be something else going on here…
You know, that does explain a whoooole lot about this town- continue reading
OH COME ON
So I poked DonorsChoose.org and made a rather prickly discovery: the Air Force is in last place.
Not quite as dead-ass last as the first time I looked, but still. If you ever wore blue, get your ass over there and throw some money at a project.
THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE, AIRPEOPLE.
[ETA: No longer dead-ass last. 'SUP NAVY]
I think it has something to do with cocks, I’m not sure
Normally I can’t be bothered to make a whole post mocking any given commentspammer, and besides that I don’t want to give them the attention.
This one that just showed up in my mail is a special case:
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New comment on your post #679 "OH GOD I CAN SEE FOREVER" Author : cocks (IP: 35.13.49.[elided]) E-mail : cocks@cocks.cocks URL : http://cocks.cocks:8080/ Whois : http://ws.arin.net/cgi-bin/whois.pl?queryinput=35.13.49.[elided] Comment: :disdain: :-* :-* :-* :-* :reallyangry: :beatup: :shy: :shy: :shy:
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In conclusion: cocks.
Also, in Maine, nine whole people showed up to protest a proposed gay marriage bill.
…nine whole people from Pennsylvania.
There were bagpipes involved, I think. I don’t know either. All I know is, BRB DYING OF LULZ.
Road trip!
Today Mom and I went up to Brenham and thereabouts to look at bluebonnets. Sadly, many of the bluebonnets seem to have been beaten to death by yesterday’s storm. But there were still lovely pockets of HOLY CRAP BLUEBONNETS, like these here at the Windy Winery.
This winery deserves special mention just because it has awesome wine, besides. It is so tiny–it’s a little bitty mom-n-pop operation, and we got to taste all their wines and they fed us cheese to go with it and they have chocolate truffles made with their Tejas Port that should probably be classified as a sexual experience. We ended up getting a bottle each of a wine that isn’t on the website–it’s called Blackbird, and it’s made with muscadine grapes. As someone who has picked and nommed a whole crapload of backyard muscadine grapes in her day, I was delighted to see them turned into tasty, tasty wine.
Then we had lunch at, of all places, the diner at the Brenham airport. Which was awesome for many reasons:
- The food was delicious, and fried pickles=autowin
- The place was done in a sort of ’50s-’60s theme, and all the waitresses wore poodle skirts
- We got to listen to recreational pilots laugh hysterically about things that are only funny to pilots while we ate
After that, we headed up to Independence, which is a tiny, tiny place. Just outside of it, there is the Antique Rose Emporium, which is part garden shop and part HOLY CRAP THIS IS THE MOST AWESOME ROSE GARDEN EVER. For one thing–well, here’s something you might not know. Those roses you buy at the average florist or the supermarket have all but had the smell bred out of them. They’re bred to look pretty, period. The roses at this place are all old-school roses that actually–gaspu, daishokku-smell like roses. Which probably doesn’t sound like such a big deal, but when you’re walking around this place and you smell roses in the air and you find that the scent is coming from these teeny tiny kind of anemic-loooking roses at your feet… well, that’s pretty incredible.
For another, whoever laid these gardens out… mad, mad props for creativity, there. I cannot even begin to describe all the awesome tucked into these gardens. There are kitchen herbs and ponds and butterfly gardens and a maze and a gazebo and little shacks and a yellow brick road and arches made out of pots and all kinds of crazy shit, including the sweetest bottle tree I have ever seen.
Then we headed homeward, stopped at a flea market and poked around, and then came home.
Dear, dear Governor Goodhair:
Please shut the fuck up.
No, really.
This? This kind of irresponsible batshit crazytalk coming out of the mouth of our governor (also out of the mouths of people like john Cornyn and whats-er-name, Ms. “BAWWW AZN NAMES R HARD” )? This is why the rest of the country thinks we’re all uneducated trailer-dwelling NASCAR-watching assault-weapon-owning cousin-porking Bible-thumping racist sexist homophobic redneck trash, and I for one am sick and fucking tired of it.
And as much as I would love to move to a state where I won’t have to go “ugh God I swear we are not all like this” a couple times a week because some idiot in a position of power has said or done something stupid, I kind of can’t afford to.
So if you want to nod and smile at the batshit crazy secessionists, fine. You and they can go find yourselves an island somewhere, move to it, cut yourself off from civilization (and civilized funds, of course), and stop making the rest of us look as stupid as you are.
In conclusion, Mr. Hair, please watch this. And then please go round up Cornyn and whats-er-face and the rest of your idiot friends and get the fuck out of my state.
No love,
Me
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Dear, dear rest of the country:
The “durr hurr stoopid Texas ppl” jokes stopped being funny a long time ago. I see why you make them, but that doesn’t make them any more funny or any less ignorant.
Thanks much,
Me
GREAT JORB, DEWD
I didn’t have any emotions learned that were sufficient to convey “oh dear, I seem to have accidentally sold off my shovel and I just found another crack in the ground that in all likelihood has a gyroid under it and Tom Nook has every tool but the shovel in stock today” so I had to improvise a little…
(yeah, I just made that outfit today, here’s a better pic of it and also all my hideous Bunny Day egg crap and gyroid chorus. …also, at this point I should probably mention that my town tune is the Daily Show theme. Also mad props to Shax, my fruit pusher, for I now have oranges and pears. Or I will once the wee trees start bearing. \o/)
Belatedly: DO WANT.
Nintendo, please don’t pull a Fatal Frame 4 with this, you at least owe us some fucking Silent Hill to make up for that.
The radio static? Will supposedly come out of the Wiimote. That alone is USDA Prime Brickshitting Material, right there.
YOUR TEA BAG COULD BE ON TV! *spfffzzzzz*
Oh God, can’t breathe, tears all over face, brb dying of lulz.
*is twelve*
[ETA:
you guys, you guys, that does not mean whatever you think it means, seriously, DYING OF LULZ here]
Um. Amazon?
No, seriously, what the actual fuck are you doing?
A glitch? Really? That’s a pretty selective fuckin’ glitch there, doodz.
